i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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