drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
