watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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