My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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