i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
