we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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