Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
