I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
