just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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