dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
