I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
