no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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