did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize