dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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