Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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