I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
