i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
