my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
