This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dick very happy bro
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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