no, he came in my armpit
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
