Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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