Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
