why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
