YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
