Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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