It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
