What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
