Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
