dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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