so explain again why im purple
no
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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