i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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