Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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