His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize