Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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