I just saw a hot homeless man
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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