I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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