Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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