I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
