I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
