so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
