If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
