I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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