I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
this hospital has no fireball
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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