Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
