I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
