I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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