I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
