it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
