question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
