This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
