It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
