if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
