who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
