I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
