During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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