how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Congratulations! We have a period
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