my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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