Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
