Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
