Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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