Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
