Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
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That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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