Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
